by lylelinPlus, if a woman constantly hooks up with men, she might also be sabotaging her own ability to be satisfied in a long-term relationship or marriage. Why might that be? Some experts believe that healthy sexual chemistry — your primary sexual desire, to find pleasure from sex, not merely a purely physical release — is a crucial indicator of relationship happiness. During the seduction phase of a relationship, your body’s chemical responses to sex are involuntary, and nothing happens unless you want it to.
When our hormonal responses to sex become based on the novelty of hooking up with someone new, rather than satisfying the craving that arose from a real emotional connection with a partner, the chemistry is left out on the table. Brain scans from the Journal of Sex Research show that our brains are hardwired to be sexual beings.
Healthy people have a heightened sense of touch and are very aware of their own bodies. You can hook up with a guy, have sex with a guy, and be in a relationship with a guy. He wants it all, because he actually loves her for herself. Studies have shown that most men aren’t just hanging out on the side for these high-risk activity options.
By combining lower-risk dating practices like casual hookups with high-risk practices like casual sex with multiple partners, women can, for example, minimize the risk of HIV infection — if they can get into relationships where their sexual risk is minimized.
“This question comes up a lot in our research with women who have been engaging in casual sex: ‘Is casual sex bad for your health?” Hardee says. In an analysis of more than 20 years worth of data, she found that condom use is more important than hooking up in the long term.
The key is to keep in mind that casual sex can be an excellent way to meet someone you find attractive, whether you’re looking for a one-night stand, a marriage, or a long-term relationship. It’s not a panacea, but an opportunity to meet and mingle with like-minded people.
But casual sex with a guy is different from casual sex with a girl. “When it comes to the psychology of casual sex, there is a distinct difference in the male and female brain. Men are more motivated by sex, whereas women are more motivated by love,” says Harry K.
This might seem like an obvious thing to say, but when you are sleeping with someone casually — or in a relationship, as we described in
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Casual sex has become more normalized than ever before, and with that, casual sex culture — like any other — has taken a toll on physical and mental health. Casual sex culture is relatively new. In the past, most “sexual experiences were reserved for married couples or intimate friends,” as Stephanie Merritt, M.A., psychotherapist and head of educational services for Don’t Lie: Stop Lying to Your Sexual Partner (and Feel Great), describes. By 2015, estimates suggest that roughly 25 percent of men and women in the US have had at least one experience they would consider to be a casual encounter. And as long as the circumstances are safe and consensual, pretty much anything is OK.
Still, being sexual should never be a means of avoiding real relationships. And though it’s not clearly acknowledged as an issue in casual sex culture, casual sex can have a detrimental impact on mental health. There are many reasons why casual sex is bad for health, including “increased vulnerability to stress, reduced investment in a sexual partner, elevated rates of anxiety and depression, and relationship troubles,” according to 2016 data published by the Pew Research Center and the Kaiser Family Foundation.
Casual sex leads to STDs. Casual sex leads to depression. But casual sex can also help you be happier. Here’s why.
In theory, the rise of the mobile phone and social media has made casual sex easier and more frequent, not to mention that we live in the time of the “hookup culture,” which basically means that there are no barriers, let alone limited resources, when it comes to finding sex on tap. Like, do you have a million apps that you’ve never downloaded? Or are you fine with going to a bar and hoping that someone happens to be looking for someone to hook up with? The only thing that’s changed in the digital era is that you have to carry around your device to initiate the hookup. And that’s what’s enabling and leading to the rise in casual sex.
One of the largest factors contributing to the increase in casual sex is that we’re spending more time on our devices. “We spend 10, 12, 15 hours of our waking lives sitting in front of our computer screens and constantly moving through apps,” says Amelia Vance, board certified sexologist and couples therapist at The Manhattan Therapist. Our attention span is shrinking, and that means the possibility to forget that we need to nurture genuine relationships is becoming smaller and smaller. Casual sex is a perfectly good way to get physical, and it
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